I used to hate the question, “Have you prayed about it?” Because when people would ask me that, most likely, I hadn’t. I loved Jesus, but I didn’t know how to listen for His guidance.
Yet, here I am, well into my years of walking with Jesus, forgetting to ask Him for guidance. Again.
In January, God whispered this new word to me for 2020: Rhythm. He knows how I feel about routines and schedules, so He gave me a gentler way for the year. He helped me settle into a regular, but breathable rhythm for how to prioritize my hours and tasks and work each week.
But all these weeks into this super-weird school year, with its elevated everything, the idea of a regular rhythm is still elusive. I keep slamming head-first into moments when I can’t breathe. I simply can’t get everything done.
I’ve known that all the things I’m holding in my brain are absolutely too much to actually accomplish. I’ve talked at God, I’ve thrown up prayers, I’ve asked others to pray, I’ve talked with my accountability partners. But I still didn’t invite Jesus in to fix it. I felt like I was living a natural consequence: I made the mess and I needed to just get through it. It was like I assigned myself a penance for not praying. Instead of actually praying.
So, now, only after I’m in the middle of “too much” do I finally revisit the question: Have I prayed about this? Have I offered the things that are competing for my time and attention to Jesus? Have I made space to let God speak into my musts?
I thank Jesus for meeting me in the middle of my too-muchness. Again. Then I ask...
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