I was on my knees again over one of those confusing, painful situations that just hasn’t resolved. I was asking God, again, why He had allowed it.
First, let me say, asking God “why” is kind of a thing for me and I know He knows I’m going to go there. Second, let me say, He doesn’t always answer.
But on this day, when I asked Him why, an answer came. It wasn’t in words exactly—it was more like He drew back a curtain and let me glimpse an alternative, which I immediately recognized as harder and even more painful.
He was showing me that He knows this hurts me, but He allowed it because the alternative would have hurt me more. This confusion and pain is actually filled with His goodness and love for me. Yes, it hurts, but this way is actually kinder for my heart.
Attempting to explain my surprise takes words I can’t find. Even though the hurt is still there, I felt seen and known and comforted. I thanked Him through the ache. He knew other ways but chose this kinder one to speak His goodness to me. He tucked unexpected blessings in it, even as I grieve. And He showed me, once again, He is in all things with me.
I still have a long list of other unanswered “whys,” but I can lay this revelation from Him over those places where I still lack answers.
I don’t know the hurt you carry or His why for you. But I wonder if we shared a cup of coffee and talked about our pains, if we would land on this shared understanding.
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