By Kim McGovern
Hear Him Louder Essay Series: Kim's Story
My heart sank as I scrutinized the drawing in my lap. "Lord, can I be any more broken?" This soul-care retreat should have been a recipe for rejuvenation. Instead, there I sat, beyond mending, like an egg's shattered shell.
My downward slump began with the first assignment. Asked to draw a giant egg on paper and fill it with illustrations of significant life events, I crafted what I believed to be the perfect egg for the job. That is until each woman took a turn sharing their story. It was apparent my egg was a bit odd and out of place. Where theirs displayed images of interactions with significant people in their past, mine held symbols of deeply shattered connections or disjointed memories.
When my turn to share arrived, I opened my mouth and out tumbled an equally disordered tale. The group nodded as the leader inquired, "Did you find her story a bit confusing?" The knot in my stomach grew. Like Humpty Dumpty after his fall, it seemed even a professional shell restoration team would have trouble piecing together my cracked mess.
As my session ended, I heard the leader speak these seven words of blessing over me, "He will quiet you with His love."
I replayed the words in my mind, searching for a whisper of hope, and all I could conjure was the image of an inconsolable infant cradled in God's arms.
And as I returned home, the sense I was beyond broken lingered. No matter how many times I rehearsed the seven words, they failed to penetrate my heart.
In a last attempt to make sense of the blessing, I dug into the book of Zephaniah. It spoke of coming judgment for God's people who refused to trust in Him. Near the end, I found the seven words. "He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy," (Zephaniah 3:17b NASB).
God's gentle whisper reached my heart at last, "It is I who has been quieted and my wrath satisfied. You are not a problem to be pacified but a pleasure to love."
A new understanding emerged. God promised a day His cry of judgment would be silenced, and His people restored.
I couldn't help but think of the day this promise became reality. A King – whose story would seem disjointed and confusing to many – was crushed to redeem the world's sins, providing a way of restoration for all. My fractured faith was no match for the fierce love of God, whose wrath is quieted through the death of Jesus on the cross. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," (Romans 8:1 ESV).
Now, when I think of those seven words, I'm reminded my hope doesn't depend on my degree of brokenness, but on God's limitless mercy. It is through my cracks that God's grace seeps in, to do its healing work. He moves me from cursed and condemned to blessed beyond measure.
It is good news that we are never too messed up for God's restoring power.
We are not beyond broken.
No one is outside the reach of God's Grace, no sin is beyond the reach of His forgiveness, and no shattered soul is beyond His resurrection power. Jesus provides all that is needed to restore any soul who trusts in Him.
The Hear Him Louder Essay Series is a guest writer series where God's daughters share their stories of hearing God’s whispers in their every day. It’s meant to serve as an encouragement for the times when God feels far and seems quiet. When we read each other’s stories of how He meets us, it reminds and reassures us that He is near. May this series be an invitation for us to listen for His voice together.
Don't miss any posts in this series! Subscribe to receive notifications for each new essay, posted every other Thursday. When you subscribe, you'll receive a link to a FREE five-day devotional (45 beautiful pages!) called, “Closer: Five Days to Hearing God Louder.” Each day features teaching on one posture and a guided journaling section to help us practice taking steps toward hearing God louder in our every day.
Learn more about each of these five postures:
1 | Seek: If I Seek God, Will I Really Find Him?
2 | Know: Will God Speak, Even to Me?
3 | Expect: Can I Expect to Hear God?
4 | Listen: How Do I Listen for God?
5 | Connect: Is God Really Right Here?
New to this series? Check out the rest of the series!
Interested in contributing to the Hear Him Louder Essay Series? The call for submissions opens twice a year. To submit an essay outside of those windows, contact me.
About Kim
Kim McGovern, veteran Bible teacher and communicator, does life with family and friends on the west coast of Florida. She is passionate about sharing the heart & art of soul-satisfying connection with God, self, and others.
You can find Kim writing regularly on her blog, on Instagram, or at Connections Bible Study where she facilitates small group studies online and in-person.