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  • Writer's pictureMarnie Hammar

For When You Need to Hear Who You Are

By Becky Keife

Hear Him Louder Essay Series: Becky’s Story

I didn’t think I had an issue with identity.

I’ve always been a pretty self-assured person, confidently marching to the beat of my own awkward drum. In elementary school, I liked wearing dinosaur tennis shoes and a pink neon tank top. Later, I was one of those rare creatures who actually liked middle school. I liked learning and boys and playing the trumpet in band. And I was blissfully unaware of how greasy my bangs were.

Not that I was without insecurities. In high school, I worried my skin was too pasty and my zits too many. I worried about pleasing people and performing well. Even so, I more or less knew and loved who I was.

Entering young adulthood and now into my forties, I’ve been lucky never to have had a crisis of faith or identity – save for those early years of motherhood where I felt like my existence had been reduced to a butt wiper and milk machine. (Yes, I love my children and believe it’s a privilege to care for them. Some seasons are just extra hard.)

But when it comes to my core identity, I’ve always felt confident in who I am as a person who is loved by God and created in His image. Like, check. Got it. Thanks, God. I’m good.

So when I was recently sharing with a friend about a deep struggle I was having with body issues, I was surprised when she told me that her sense from the Lord was that my issue actually had nothing to do with weight or aging but with identity.


It felt very much like my issue had to do with the thirty pounds I’d gained and my feelings about that.

But over the days and weeks that followed that conversation, I asked the Lord to show me if there was something to this identity stuff. Bit by bit, through a podcast here and a Scripture there, God started unfolding new pieces to the puzzle of my soul.

I knew I was saved by God, but I was beginning to grasp in a deeper way how much I was loved by God. I was starting to understand that the way I see myself directly impacts the way I see God.

It’s true: What we believe about ourselves directly impacts what we believe about God. Do you believe that? Here are just two examples of how this shakes out:

  1. If I believe I am ugly or stupid, then I also believe that God made a mistake in how he made me.

  2. If I believe I’m loved because of how I look or what I accomplish, then I also believe that God’s love is conditional and not enough for me.

See how that works?

We have to ask God to reveal to us false beliefs about ourselves that have, often unconsciously, taken root in our hearts. And then ask Him to help us exchange those false beliefs for His truth.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked God to speak into my identity, to show me who He says I am. This is what I felt prompted to write in my journal…

I am God’s daughter. The King’s daughter. The Princess has the King’s divine affection. She has unobstructed access to Her Father. She knows His power but she also knows His love — for her, for His people, for His kingdom. There is no length the King wouldn’t go to to rescue His daughter. All He has is available to her; it’s her future inheritance and her present access. Why would the King’s daughter suffer and struggle and strive alone when she has FULL access to her Father’s resources, riches, and influence? But most importantly, access to the King’s wisdom, counsel, and support!

The King’s daughter knows the privilege, joy, and responsibility of being in the Father’s family — a royal and set-apart people. She is constantly aware of her princess identity. She continually looks to her Father; she is secure in His approval and delight over her. Even if everyone in the kingdom disagrees with or devalues her, the King’s blessing is all she needs.

Yes, His crown of blessing marks her identity. She is a beloved daughter — precious and protected — but she is also a royal warrior.

She holds the King’s shield and sword. She is marked by His seal. She wears His full armor. She is a formidable force against the enemy. No harm will come to her as the King and His powerful army stand with and around her. She never fights alone. Yes, she never even sleeps alone — her Father’s soldiers are always standing guard. What a miracle to be the King’s daughter.

That is who I am. Friend, that is who you are too!

If you’ve accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior then you are a co-heir with Christ, an adopted daughter of the Most High King! Don’t just read those words. Let them really sink in. You have access to all that Jesus is and all that He has.

And above all, you are so, so loved.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe,” (Ephesians 1:18-19 NIV).

This article originally appeared on (in)courage here.


The Hear Him Louder Essay Series is a guest essay series where God's daughters share their stories of hearing God’s whispers in their every day. It’s meant to serve as an encouragement for the times when God feels far and seems quiet. May this series be an invitation for us to listen for His voice together.

Don't miss any posts in this series! Subscribe to receive each new essay in your inbox, posted every other Thursday. When you subscribe, you'll receive a FREE download of a Prayer Planning Worksheet, a resource to help you prepare your heart to listen for His voice in prayer.

New to this series? Check out the rest of the series!


About Becky

Becky Keife is the author of multiple books and Bible studies and mom to three hungry boys. She’s the Community and Editorial Manager for (in)courage, and runs her own business as a Conversion Copywriter & Messaging Strategist. She’s been married to her husband Chris for 18 years and only cooks dinner because people need to eat.

Becky loves writing about anxiety, motherhood, and the kindness of God. Long naps, shady trails, and good books make her really happy.

Learn more about Becky's work or invite her to speak at, or connect with her on Instagram


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